Hi people - hope your weekend was a good one. I’ve had some good news and bad, so it’s been a hell of an emotional roller coaster of late.

It’s also been a few weeks since the last TWIBS! post, but I’m tight on time, so it won’t be your standard 80-minute read. Let’s get to it!

The Sox had a rough start to the week, but kicked off interleague play and a homestand by sweeping the embarrassingly bad Milwaukee Brewers. Boston is back in first place in the AL East with a 27-19 record one fourth of the way through the baseball season. Those pesky Tampa Bay RAYS are nipping at our heels one game back in the standings with the New York Stankees occupying the basement. Beating up on a weak Brewers squad was exactly what this team needed after getting swept by Minnesota and Baltimore earlier in the week. Today the boys kick off another four-game series against a pathetic Kansas City team, so they should be able to pad their division lead by week’s end. Hopefully Big Papi can keep that scorching bat on fire - he and Brewers’ sensation Ryan Braun traded blows, each slugging two homers in yesterday’s 11-7 Red Sox victory.

Hitting coach Dave Madigan has worked long and hard to help work on kinks in Big Papi’s swing. All Ortiz needed to get his groove back was a few meaningful hugs from Man Ram, go figure.

Get used to this face, it’ll be around and slugging for a loooong time.

The Celtics beat LeBron and the Cavaliers yesterday in an exciting Game 7 to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals against the Detroit Pistons. This game was a flat-out scoring clinic between Paul Pierce and King James, and the media immediately likened their performance to the classic Bird/Dominique Game 7 battle during the 1988 Conference Semis. The C’s still haven’t won a road game, and Detroit is coming off a seven-day rest since their last ball game, so right out of the gate it’s an uphill battle for the green team. I’m hoping they can somehow maintain their momentum and prevent fatigue from setting in. There’s a great chance the Pistons can be the first team to steal a game at the Garden, and that would mean in order to advance, the C’s would have to steal one from the Palace of Auburn Hills. These guys must be exhausted after back-to-back seven game series, but I’m hoping that KG’s coke head-like energy and Pierce’s hot hand can keep this storm twirling. And get ready for two weeks of endless Boston/Detroit rivalry clips from the 80s, when that douchebag Bill Laimbeer and Isiah “Grab Ass” Thomas played dirty, hack ball, only to turn it over to Bird and the original Big Three. My prediction is that someone wins in 7, I just don’t know who.

Get used to a shitload of this. I miss Johnny Most’s raspy voice screaming obscenities at Laimbeer into his headset.

Sorry, who?

Well, the NFL is doing its best to put the dwindling Spygate incident to rest, however, an old crabby Congressman from Comcast, Pennsylvania is doing his part by beating the dead horse and keeping this old news current. Commissioner Roger Goodell met with former Pats video assistant and world class rat fink Matt Walsh this week to confirm that there is no Rams walkthrough from the 2001 Super Bowl, and that the existing tapes had originally been confiscated when the story broke last September. Walsh got his retarded 15 minutes of fame, sports nation got every reason to despise and refute the Patriots legacy - alls well that ends well. Other than that, not much going on in New England football.

Love is in the air…Is this thing over yet?!?!! FUCK!

Tom Brady gave all of his offensive linemen soccer-mom SUVs (how…demasculating) at an Audi event this week.

Kevin Faulk and Randy Moss take in the C’s Game 7 against Cleveland. Get back to work, you losers!!

Speaking of Faulk, Kev hosted his annual softball charity tournament this week. Vince Wilfork, among other Patriots was in attendance. Is it just me, or does Vinnie look like a duplex wearing really expensive sunglasses?

That’s about it for the week. The only thing coming up that even remotely matters is the evenly-matched Celtics/Pistons Eastern Conference finals that kicks off on Tuesday. Be sure to tune in and send our boys some positive energy vibes, they’re going to need it for serious!

…and as I’m about to publish this post, Jon Lester throws a no-hitter against the Royals. Where were you two hours ago, asshole!!?!!

Later,
BC

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Hey there and welcome back. I hope your week is going well, I’ve had an interesting one up to this point for sure. Today’s oldieo is one of my last “showable” video posts, so I’ll have to start bringing my Celtics Home game to this website (compared to my recent Celtics Away game attitude).

So this is the blooper reel for the short-lived CLOSE QUARTERS webseries (and by short, I mean five minutes of a pilot). It opens with Garrett singing a classic obscene melody that I hope someone plays at his funeral (god forbid he ever leaves us) so we may remember GM as a hysterical clowner till the end. Did that sound creepy? I didn’t mean it like that!

Like I said this shoot was a lot of fun. The blooper reel is filled with shots of Big Daddy playing a little bit of Big Diva on set. We always have our minute differences when shooting projects, but it usually ends up my way or the highway- I used to be a happy-go-lucky Napoleon on set, what can I say. I stress “used to be” because when I shot this I was still a little snotty “result” director, meaning I would bark direction via expressions and emotions, not allowing the established actors to breathe their own interpretations into the role (through proper direction using action verbs). Then again, this is a spoof on classic sitcoms where the action is cheesy and over-stylized…let’s just say I don’t think there were too many Adler students on the set of SAVED BY THE BELL.

Speaking of SBTB, my good friend Riley Weston (screenwriter/actress extraordinaire) wrote a Lifetime movie starring Elizabeth Berkley (AKA Jesse Spano) called DARK BEAUTY that premieres this Saturday, May 17th at 9pm Eastern/6 Pacific. Be sure to tune in or tivo, she promised me it’s a fun watch.

My dear friend Riley Weston

Hands-down best Jesse Spano moment: “I’m so excited! I’m so excited!! I’m so…SCARED!”

Tivo, my friends, is a very dangerous toy. Steveo and I have been averaging about 2.5 Saved By The Bell episodes per day. It’s starting to scare me how much we remember from every single episode. I mean, that show was like cocaine when we were kids. Everyone I know within a 4-year radius of my age has seen every episode at least three times. I remember watching it Saturday mornings over my decrepit piano teacher’s house in Woonsocket. This lady had a TV set in her bathroom (absurdly cool given the times) and I would park it in there for a good half-hour to catch the new ep while my older sister Stef took her piano lesson. I remember Ms. Believeau knocking on the bathroom door, wondering if I was OK considering how long I had occupied it. Come to think of it, I can probably track my habit of avoiding work responsibility AND my obsession with bathroom privacy to those Saturdays hiding from piano lessons. Seventeen years later, and I wonder why I can’t read sheet music.

Here’s my quick take on the other SBTB characters:

Zack Morris is probably the most powerful character in television history. He’s got looks, money, he can charm the panties off any girl at Bayside, and even though his incredible greed usually causes the dilemma per episode, he’s ALWAYS let off the hook. There was this one gigantic girl jock/tom-boy named Rhonda Robistelli who stalked and handled Zack with ease. I always loved her catch phrase “Hey Zackie!!” that she would bust out when tracking him down. Wouldn’t you know, Rhonda’s now a hot chick hosting a real estate show on TLC. Zackie should have cashed in on that.

Kirsten Kemp (AKA Rhonda Robistelli)

Albert Clifford or “AC” Slater is my favorite SBTB character. He’s one of the stronger actors out of the bunch (that’s not saying much) and his juggling of anger, charm, braun, and goofy panomine really glued the group together. Zack needed a male counterpart to balance the ensemble, and that little scrawny new jersey kid from GOOD MORNING MISS BLISS didn’t exactly cut it. Next time you watch an episode, be sure to catch AC’s subtle, yet goony expressions in the background - hilarious!

…Although there was something a little “off” about some of AC’s displays at The Max.

Screech Powers was freakin hysterical on the show, that is until he got stuck in that awkward growth spurt while everyone else turned incredibly hot. Poor Dustin Diamond is still haunted by being known as the white Urkel.

What kind of desperate woman has had sex with Dustin Diamond? Remember to keep her in your prayers tonight.

I can’t stand Lisa Turtle. She’s a sassy idiot with terrible fashion sense, despite the face she’s a rich mall diva. Everthing she ever talked about related to shopping, gossip and putting Screech down- what a biitch! Steveo and Griff think I’m insane for not being attracted to Lark Voorhies, but I think they’re delirious for not wanting Rhonda Robistelli. I think I win that battle.

And then we have Kelly Kapowski, the hottest female in television history. She’s the perfect “man’s” woman: honest, very agreeable, pleasing, soft spoken, always wants to do the right thing. You have to remember that the type of misogyny TV writers could get away with in the 80s and 90s is insurmountable compared to today’s standards (ah, the golden years of television). Seriously speaking, Zack did not deserve Kelly. I was always happy when she dumped Zack to test the field. Funny enough, when I was at TAG, two out of the three Kelly suitors (not Melvin Nerdsley) were clients. C’mon guys, I’m sure these days you could sign Nerdsley and complete the trifecta!

Kelly is TV’s equivalent of an LA 10. Trust me when I say there’s a difference between a 10 and an LA 10. 10 Girls in Boston are really LA 7’s- indeed a sound reference to rate by. Poor Wendy from Wonder Years isn’t even in the same rating system as Kapowski.

Lastly, we have Mr. Belding, the backboneless principal of Bayside High. It’s disturbing how easily manipulated Belding was by Zack and the kids. He just wanted to be cool and one of the gang, but the age gap and political status makes his desperate attempts to fit in mildly disturbing. Even his high-pitched laugh is suspect, then again I sort of uncontrollably laugh like that. That must make me an attention-groveling pervert too!

Yes, I am 25 and still obsessed with this show fifteen years after first airing. I really don’t think I’m alone in that though. I miss how ridiculous TV could get, and think that more people should spoof and cash in on the over saturated neo-sitcom style. Just like The N’s marketing slogan urges, “Embrace the Cheese!” I mean, how cool would a spoof/homage remake of Saved By The Bell be if it were conceived by David Lynch? Saved By The Bell meets Twin Peaks!!!

Well, my cheese comes to an end with these CQ bloopers, but rest assured I will recapture the classic sitcom style in future quirky, absurd projects.

Thanks for reading this rant, and hope you’ve enjoyed my project CLOSE QUARTERS!

Thanks,
The Real American Christo

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Hi. So this week’s oldieo is a follow-up to last week’s post.

As I mentioned, CLOSE QUARTERS is a pilot project I rushed out with the help of my friends in two weeks time for F/X a few years back. Last week’s video was the series teaser, and this week’s is the short 2 1/2 minute scene that follows. We submitted both which proved fruitless at the time, but forced our hand to produce something original and fun amongst ourselves, and that’s all that truly matters (says the upbeat afterschool special). Considering the crap that F/X picked up that year, I’m not exactly losing sleep knowing we weren’t the chosen ones. My goal with the scene was to show a random lazy weekday situation at the CQ residence.

Jason is hooked up to some wacky experimental lab wiring while he hurls Mike & Ikes at the sleeping Big Daddy, Ed is hustling to find the keys to their car in order to meet his ladyfriend Erica at the Super Chinese Buffet (how romantic), and Garrett is off trying to avoid the guys by working on his memoirs. Jay’s casual game of “sink candy down Chris’s gaping mouth” gets competitive when Ed jumps in on a cash bet. The two make so much noise that Garrett is forced to see what the commotion is all about, then he too gets sucked into the money match. Jay finally hits a shot and wins the bet, however in doing so the candy gets lodged in Chris’s throat, and he begins to choke. The three gambling fools aren’t the coolest cats in pressure situations, and scramble the best they can to execute the proper safety procedures to rescue Chris. Ed’s life incompetence pushes Chris so far that he begins to choke his roomate in a fit of rage. Mr. Morris (the sage elder) finally dislodges the candy by pounding on Chris’s back, and for a moment the guys are allowed to catch their breath until an exhausted Chris collapses on the couch and unconsciously begins to swallow fistfuls of Mike & Ikes, concluding with a self-induced choking situation to the guys’ utter disbelief.

MY FAVORITE MOMENTS IN CQ:

1) The Credits - opening and closing. I originally wanted a steadicam and desired to somehow sweep down the street to settle on the front of the house a la Mama’s Family or The Beverly Hill Billies. I grew up a big TV junky and have always had an affinity for cheesy sitcom openings. IMHO, The Three’s Company intro shot at the Santa Monica pier is easily the best opening in sitcom history. I wanted to keep in that vein of cheese. Even the theme song closely resembles the whining guitars from Saved By The Bell. Considering the limited time and resources, the simple act of waving at the camera with Garrett looking out of place is a sufficient way to open and close the clips for sure. Plus, I had a lot of fun hurling a 5 lb Sunday paper at Chris and J-Raff’s head.

2) Garrettisms - the clip of him being mezmorized by a crumpled ball of ones and muttering “money” while in said trance is the funniest line in the project hands down. During the traveling montage in the teaser, Garrett is on the phone with the electric company arguing about a delinquent bill. The audio isn’t very clear in the sequence, but watching him create a situation with an imaginary customer service rep during the take was extremely entertaining. He is still one funny dude!

3) The establishing shot of inside Garrett’s apartment while he listens the horse race - the Andy Warhol-inspired portraits on the wall, the cluttered Morris memorabilia and photo shrine on the mantle - David Lukan did one fantastic job on set design considering the money constraints.

4) The chemistry and energy amongst the four guys - like I said last week, these guys just loved busting each other up, and the shoot was more fun than business. Garrett was a sport for making fun of himself and playing in a project opposite three little brats.The funny thing is I can produce a project of this caliber once every other week. I work fast, the material is cute if not legitimately funny, it’s quasi-professional considering the video garbage produced now-a-days.

I have 4,000 ideas that have yet to be realized. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING BLOGGING ABOUT WANTING TO SHOOT SOMETHING??? Why am I not out there just producing right now? Things cost money for sure, but if you want it that badly, there’s always a way. If this is the kinda cute crap I would like to consume the rest of my life with, then why am I complaining about being poor and unrealized, and not making strides towards career success?I’ve recently reduced myself to a 5-6 month window of opportunity in LA. If I don’t produce something I truly sink time, thought and energy into, then I will leave California and return back East. I moved out to LA at the age of 21, and have skipped down many different career avenues, yet I now find myself here talking to you at the age of 25-26. No one’s getting any younger, and it’s time I really gave this thing a true shot instead of being embarrassed of my old student projects or rushing through shorts like this one. If this is what I’m supposed to be wasting my life on, then the next 5 months shall be very telling. I’ve always been the type of person who is capable of running the show himself, but mentally I need at least one commrade or pillar of support to fascilitate the process. On this project, I had Lukan there pushing us through. On the BU projects, I had crabby professors and deadlines staring me in the face. These next few months represent the final shot I’m giving myself- I need to attempt it once more, for if I don’t and leave without doing so, I’ll be wondering “what if” for the rest of my life (aww, how cliche).I need some support. Give your kid a little encouragement. I can’t help being an impractical dreamer, it wasn’t by choice I can promise you that. I’m sick of playing in the sandbox, I wanna crack at something real. BOTTOM OF THE NINTH is as big of a shot as I’ve ever taken, and seeing that was five years ago, I’m due for one last hurrah.

Hoo-rah!
Christo

Well, this week in Boston sports had huge karmic implications regarding the seven-year championship bender we’ve all been arrogant sports pricks for the duration of. Has our incredible winners’ luck finally run out? Are we ready to assume the role of hard-luck losers again? Sorry but, NO WAY GO FUCK YOURSELF!

My computer is slowly dying, so I’m gonna hack-a-shaq this week’s entry. Blow it out your ass already.

The Sox rebounded from last week’s horrendous, injury-riddled disaster with a solid, slightly uneven performance all week long to win five out of six games played. I know what you’re thinking, only Boston fans will complain about winning 80% of the week’s matchups, but it’s more the way they’re winning that left an unsettling aftertaste. The boys in Red seemed to figure things out the second time around against Tampa, completing the homestand with a weekend sweep. However, Mike Lowell is of to a slow start after returning from a hand injury, and Big Papi’s FRIGGIN KNEES are keeping him from every-day appearances, which makes you feel that this might be a problem that dwells throughout the season. That’s your #3 and 5 power-hitters off-kilter for the entire month of April, and the team is still 20-13, with three games up on Baltimore. With three low-scoring, dominant pitching affairs against Toronto, Manager Terry Francona had to publicly call out 2nd year CF Jacoby Ellsbury to return to the lineup, arguing that pros sit when they’re injured, but play when they’re not 100% healthy. After squeaking out back to back 1-0 and 2-1, late-inning victories over the Blue Jays, Tito hired Pedro Cerrano’s spirit bat guide Jobu to lift the curse off the Sox’s run production in time to finish it out against those pesky Rays.

Jon Lester answered the critics’ cries to move him to the pen by pitching two strong outings this week. He gave the Sox a chance against Roy Halliday by going eight scoreless with six strikeouts and one hit allowed, then gave up one run through six to record his second victory against Tampa yesterday. Keep pitching and we’ll start shutting up!

Youk is on an island right now. Kev and Manny are the two big producers thus far in this young season, and one seems to answer the bell when the other is off. It was Youk’s turn this week, as his lone RBI won Lester’s first game, and yesterday’s 3-4 (double, HR), 4 RBI performance in the 3-spot (filling in for Big Papknee) was the difference over Tampa.

OK Jac, you’re a second-year pro now. Why don’t you knock the sand out of your vagina, pop a Flintstone vitamin, stop being a Mary and get your fragile ass in lineup.

And you thought the recent Sox success was due to their talented scouting and farm system. Whatever you do, DO NOT drink Jobu’s Rum, that never ends well.

And…breathe.

At this point, I don’t know what to expect from this goddamn team. Even the Celtics entered Sunday’s Game 7 against Atlanta not knowing what to expect. They lost all three of their road games in this series, and that alone made the so-called “favorites” going into this mess seem all-too human and verry beatable. Look, I know this Hawks team is young, extremely athletic and simply caused matchup problems when certain individuals got it going. Joe Johnson is beyond talented, and took games over when the C’s weren’t doubling him by half-court. Josh Smith is going to be one of the premiere players in this league for a long time to come once he develops his game a little more. His elevation and shot-blocking skills are incredible, and he has a jumper-in-progress that once he perfects, he’ll be impossible to cover. Al Horford (or A Hor) is a mouthy…whore, but you can’t deny his big-man, inside game and contageous tenacity. Even bench players like Josh Childress can make huge contributions in the paint and play the cog that helps unravel the big green machine. Thankfully, these Hawks don’t have any poise when they’re not playing behind their incredibly passionate (and recently-formed) Atlanta fanbase that provided the decisive momentum in all three of their wins, but that didn’t prevent this series from going the distance. If the Celtics were to lose this series (the number one seed versus the worst team record-wise in the playoffs), it would have been New England’s second, universally embarrassing defeat in a row (right behind that thing that happened in February- the Super something? I’m drawing a blank). Ugly defeat was postponed for another day, as the C’s showed up and played their brand of basketball to deliver a statement 99-65 victory over the Hawklettes. KG led the way and set the tone in what was to be one of the greatest defensive performances I’ve seen in my lifetime. Everyone jumped in on the fun early and often: Pierce was electric with 22, Perkins had the game of his life with a double-double and 5 “get the fuck out of the garden” blocks, Rondo played with energy and ran an incredible floor. I mean, when Big Baby feels he has creative license to drain the shot clock and attempt a wobbly three, you know there’s a blow-out in progress. Game 7 was a much-needed rebound for the Celtics, especially in carrying the momentum over against LeBron in the next-round matchup against the Cavs, but the incredible high going into the postseason has officially been deflated, and the fans are walking on egg shells not knowing what to expect out of our so-called “favorites”. Take a deep breath, then hold it in for another two weeks!

KENDRICK PERKINS: Boston Celtics Center, 23 years old, a grown man.
BRENT CHRISTO: Boston Celtics Critic, 25 years old, a miserable hermit man-child.
You win this round, Perk!

In what was easily the ugliest moment of yesterday’s game, Marvin Williams’s hard foul on Rajon Rondo gets him ejected in the third quarter. As you can see, Rondo was sent airborne and lucky he wasn’t left paralyzed from this beyond-dirty hit. Williams said he wasn’t trying to injure Rondo, and that the two are good friends off the court. When was the last time you clotheslined a good friend? I know, it’s been a while for me too.

Kevin Garnett exacted revenge for the Williams flagrant 2 on Rondo by delivering one hard pick on series-rival and Mr. Ugly 2008 Zaza Pachulia, sending him to the groud. The play would be KG’s last in the game, and provided the perfect exclamation point to the series clincher. Pachuli-stink and A Hor really got in Kev’s face this series, and he wasn’t going to let them off with just a blow-out. Zaza now knows what it feels like to run into a really pissed-off telephone pole.

Bibby gladly accepted Paul and KG’s sympathies for being the winner of the series’ biggest asshole contest. Your words shall echo in the Garden for years to come, Vampire Bitch! (Yes, I have nicknames for all of the Hawks)

Thank God that series is over! Now all we have to do is….AHH, FUCK! OK, Triple LeBron, let Delonte West and Wally Zerbiak have a crack at dethroning the one seed. What’s with all these former Celtics getting angry and whooping our butts anyway? Buckle up for game one, Tuesday at 8pm on TNT- it’s gonna be one hell of a drive. You know, like driving with your eyes closed during rush hour.

This week the Bruins…WHO CARES.

STOP THE PRESSES: Providence Bruins goalie Tuukka Rask has a shot at net next year for Boston. Tuukka Rask, the mummified bones of Tutankhamun- as long as it’s not Tim Thomas I’ll be satisfied.

The Pats begin their pre-season rituals by hosting rookie camp in Foxboro this week. No shocking or unexpected news to report: 2nd round CB Terence Wheatley looks like he could fit well in Bill’s backfield, Mayo’s off shooting a Hellmann’s commercial, and the rest of the 2008 class is busy creating fresh shits in their pants after Belichick’s terrifying and endless tutorials.

Tomase excitingly reports that the rookie Terence Wheatley is an undergrad climatoligist. Well kid, get used to this forecast: Mostly Sunny with a 90% chance of precipitation, and wind-chill at 30 mph. High of 83, with night time temperatures dropping to 10 below. Oh yea, tomorrow’s Nor’Easter will deliver 18 inches of snow.

Uh, Bill, hate to break it to ya, but that’s the wrong kind of talent scouting. Please stop mumbling, “Would you look at the back on that corner.”

TWIBS! FIB OF THE WEEK:

Indianapolis Colts Wide Receiver Marvin Harrison is the lead suspect in an investigation of a shooting that occured this week outside a car wash he owns in North Philadelphia. The gun that shot the bullets is registered to Harrison, who denies having anything to do with the incident. As we know only too well in New England, what truly matters is the accusal, not the truth. Enjoy having a squeaky-clean reputation tarnished Indy fans!

That’s it for this week’s recap. Please keep the boys in green in your thoughts and prayers as they take on King James. Anything goes, especially on the road. But then again, if they happen to win every single home game, they can still win the title. I’ll have a heart attack if this series against the Cavs shakes out like the last. It’s OK mom, I’ll be hooked up to an EKG to monitor my status by tomorrow’s tip-off.

Yours,
The Boston Rat

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This week’s oldieo is one of my favorite projects I’ve produced.

CLOSE QUARTERS is a pilot presentation for the F/X network shot in June 2006. At the time, I was still working at The Agency Group, as was my good friend David Lukan. Lukan and I had been wanting to get off our behinds and collaborate on something, and the stars aligned for us to shoot this project quick. We received a 14-day deadline from F/X- that’s project conception to post-production completion - a very tall order indeed. 

At this point, I’m basically a Junior Agent covering clients and generating activity where I could. One of our clients was original SNL cast member Garrett Morris, who is now a working actor in his 70s. I grew quite close to Garrett while at TAG- we’re buddies and we would often hang out and talk about doing a project together. Well, this pops up and like a champion, Garrett agrees to play (and make fun of) himself in our project about three 20-something slackers who get evicted and sublet a bedroom off the aging and practically retired Mr. Morris.

This is actually Garrett’s headshot, taken by the famous photographer Olan Mills.

I whip together the script, then rush through pre-production with the aid of my friends. Everything somehow comes together in the nick of time, and we find ourselves shooting a mini, two-camera production with light/grip package and a great little set design. Photography took a day and a half, and was practically a flawless production with the exception of one set-up where the boom mic wasn’t on and we had to awkwardly ADR dialogue later (I’ll let you find where that spot may be).

Garrett was a trooper on set, especially considering it was the hottest day of the year (like 100 degrees indoors and under lights), and like a pro, he delivered a classic performance. Starring opposite Garrett is Big Daddy and J-Raff who you’ve seen before, along with our hilarious pal Ed Ellington. I also met Ed through TAG, and we’ve become good friends over the past few years. Ellington’s currently in Mississippi producing a documentary with real money financing it (that sonofabitch!).

These four are quite the little comedy quartet. It was near impossible harnessing their attention for a take because all they would do is try to make the other guy laugh. Needless to say, one funny-ass shoot!

The above-posted video is the teaser to the prospective series. We submitted this and a 2 1/2 minute scene that I’ll post next week as part 2 to the series. The premise is as follows:

Three 20-something slackers get evicted from their apartment and need to find the cheapest place available in Los Angeles. They find an ad for a room for rent in North Hollywood for only 800 dollars, and decide to check it out. B-list TV star Garrett Morris is broke, unemployed, and a recent gambling debt has forced his hand to the desparate measure of taking on a roomate. When three grown idiots show up at his front door, he immediately tells them to take a hike. But when they flash the only wad of cash they have, Garrett can’t refuse and decides to take them in as tennants. 

Basically, the project is a spoof/homage to cheesy sitcoms of yesteryear. I call the piece my “Three Stooges meets Three’s Company“. Situational comedy where misunderstandings often occur between polar opposites- a classic situation as American as tax evasion. If this ever made it to series, the plan would be to throw these four numbskulls in various situations, and watch them dig their way out of it (a la countless Stooges’ mishaps).

So we make the deadline and submit the project, but didn’t get picked up for a number of weird reasons. I was a little deflated with the outcome, but I did and still feel good about our final product, especially given the limited resources and time crunch. We completed the project in two weeks on 1 1/2 production days and with a budget of 900 dollars. I’ve always played the procrastinator with deadlines, and feel that forces me into a good creative space time and time again. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it once more, necessity is the mother of invention. When you’re back’s up against the wall, you must come through with something. CLOSE QUARTERS is very much my version of something.

Anyway, enough blabber - hope you enjoy CQ, this one was definitely a good time!

Ma’halo,
Christo