IT’S FINALLY HERE…the Celtics season-opener against the Cavs and the hallowed banner-raising ceremony for championship 17! I actually just shit my pants with excitement!!

There was all this talk before the game of how the Celtics were fully aware of the slow start championship teams have after the banner and ring ceremony, and the players and staff attested that they should have things under control and focused by tip off…

CUT TO Paul Pierce balling his eyes directly out of his skull.

I mean it’s 1000% understandable, this guy’s been a journeyman, undervalued and unappreciated for 10 years.

Then the Celtics greats (Havlicek, Cousy, Jo-Jo, Tommy, Max to name a few) proceed onto the parquet to greet Pierce with the NBA trophy in hand, and Paul absolutely loses it.

This is a guy who’s 5th all-time in Celtics scoring, but never mentioned in the same breath as Bird, Russell, Cous, etc. Tonight he finally gets validated and welcomed with open arms into the exclusive fraternity of legend Green.

The banner raising and ring ceremony was quite emotional all around. Watching the first banner since ‘86 slowly ascend to the rafters, with the team you fell in love with pulling the strings- it was just flat-out breath-taking and special (despite “Beautiful Day” by U2 blaring in the loudspeaker).

BTW the rings- $30K diamond encrusted, breath-taking. In the days of a recession, there’s nothing like multi-millionaires receiving expensive gifts. U S A! U S A!!

THEN you realize they have to actually play a game and they’re probably fucked in that respect. I mean, Pierce was STREAMING tears, how the hell is he going to matchup against a pissed-off LeBron??

And the game started, and indeed there was a gigantic ceremony hangover hindering a smooth beginning to the season. Besides two early dunks by Pierce and KG, the Celtics were incredibly flat from the field and on D. After the first half, everyone except Pierce (who would expect??) played ridiculously sloppy, but the Celts only trailed by 7.

After the half, the C’s busted out of the gate and surged to take the lead literally 5 minutes into the 3rd quarter. The overall defense kicked it up a gear, holding Cleveland to only 35 points in the entire 2nd half. Doc and the staff handle half-time adjustments as good as BB and the Patriots do, I tell you what!

Pierce was simply electric throughout the game. He was having his way on offense against King James, scoring a game-high 27 and hitting it from wherever he pleased. LeBron walked away with 22, but Pierce did a great job to contain him all the way.

Besides Paul’s heroic effort on a historic night, Rondo had a solid game with 14 pts, 5 assists, 6 rebounds and 3 steals. Once everyone gets comfortable and in a groove during the regular season, this guy has the potential to make the all-NBA team. One little downside from his play was how hard he was getting hit. Rondo ended up slamming to the floor like a crash test dummy a good 4 times, and that will surely catch up to him if he’s not a little more careful protecting his body- he gets smacked harder than Tina Turner!!

One guy who doesn’t need to worry about his frame is LEON POWE, who off the bench was the difference in tonight’s victory. Leon had 13 BIG time points, including a few monster dunks a la last post season. Powe has arrived, and I think this year, the league will be a little more than aware of his presence.

Leon power-dunks over former Celtics-weirdo Delonte West. The Cs indeed have young guns: Rondo stepping up, and Leon providing consistency to his big-time game…these guys really could be better than last year’s team (g’head and piss your pants, it’s that cool!)

Another benchie with a decent performance was Tony Allen with 11 points, and some pretty executed drives and jumpers to boot. It’s all in Tony’s scrambled brain, and if he can line up the dominoes, TA could also be an important piece to the puzzle if these guys really hope to two-peat.

KG had a slow start to the season, hitting 5-15 from the field with 11 points. He said himself that he had a really slow start due to the emotions in the Garden, and he definitely deserves a pass all considering. KG played big minutes, as did Ray-Ray who was also ice-cold.

But it didn’t matter because in the end Pierce, the bench and the D stepped it up and sealed off a magical night on a good note.

The Celtics are back and the mission to solidify their rank in Celtics history with back-to-back titles begins. Kiss the next 8 months of your free time goodbye, god knows I am!!

The Patriots gutted out a back-and-forth battle with the resurging St. Louis Rams in Foxboro on Sunday, and our beloved cromagnum boy wonder Matty Cassel lead a 4th quarter comeback to seal the victory in mildly dramatic fashion, 23-16.

After 7 games, the Patriots are 5-2.

Huh.

Hmmph.

Oh. Really?

….WAHOOO!!

These victories ain’t the prettiest I’ve seen as a New England fan, but a win’s a win, and coupled with Buffalo’s loss to the Miami Dolphins-Wildcats (the college and professional franchises eloped this season), we’re currently tied for first in the AFC East.

Can someone, ANYONE explain to me what the hell is going down in the NFL circa 2008??

We’re used to superstars, frontrunners, dark horses, and every other cliche sports phrase I’m omitting.

Is it just me or will every single team in the league somehow finish the regular season with an 8-8 record? Heck I wouldn’t be surprised if a few 7-9 teams made the playoffs!

And I thought this was going to be a reevaluating year for the franchise after losing Superman in the first quarter of the season opener.

Not this Superman, the one that kicks the shit out of him at the famed Junkyard fight.

And I thought Matt Cassel had already plateaued as a professional in week 2. The devastating Dolphins loss felt like a beacon of things to expect for the remainder of the schedule, but as a team they’ve continued to gut victories out left and right. And we now know those two losses were fairly unavoidable- Miami has been trouncing good teams with their two-back, no-QB spread formations, and San Diego needed to crap the Patriots out while they could to avenge multiple big game defeats over the past 5 years.

Then they make the Broncos look silly on MNF, then quell the used-to-be-laughable-three-games-ago-turned-playoff-contender St. Louis squad through exercising the gutty team-oriented Patriots spirit of years past.

Any regime change, no matter how temporary, is a hard pill to swallow. I feel like I was cursing out the replacement of our loveable blockhead Drew Bledsoe with undrafted sophomore Tom Brady in similar fashion to my Cassel-bashing. Don’t get me wrong- he’s no future supermodel-sexing league MVP, but Matty keeps proving media and fanatics wrong by inching his way into a serviceable quarterback and game-manager.

And after 7 games, the Patriots are 5-2.

With Sammy Morris, LaMont Jordan sidelined, and Lawrence Ma-phony out for the year, our two options at back entering Sunday’s game were rookie Ben-Jarvus Green-Ellis, and recipient of the newly-inherited title of Mr. Patriot (fresh from the vice grip of retired Troy Brown)- KEVIN FAULK.

And with the aid of a B+ Matt Cassel performance, Randy Moss running routes over the middle (7 recs, 102 yds) and sound defensive play, Kevin essentially won the game with his Marshall Faulk-esque day.

Kev’s game winning 15-yard TD reception- a decently-tossed ball helped out by shotty defensive coverage. 13 carries for 60 yards, 4 receptions for 47 and a touchdown…I hope Faulk plays for this team until he’s 84- gotta love clutch journeymen!!

There’s a reason Kevin’s Sunday performance, and many others have resembled Rams’ great Marshall Faulk- they often discussed Xs and 0s while sharing a popsicle at the kids table growing up.

So Matt’s coming around, and the team is gelling around him despite a depleted secondary and back field. The coaching staff is showing off their balls, and scheming well-executed game plans to edge their opponents.

And after 7 games, the Patriots are 5-2.

They’re right, WE’RE SPOILED ASSHOLES.

As Patriots fans, we flip-flop more than the New England weather.

I always love this team, but after a seven year nothing-but-winning mentality beaten into my brains, and after a year where they almost execute the most perfect season in sports history, I guess the bar is set pretty fucking high for these guys to hurdle over.

But as the season progresses and the dust settles, the truth of the matter is this 2008 team maintains the same solid foundation the franchise has built over the last decade- solid coaching, talented role players who know and execute their job, and a continued winning mentality.

So no matter what happens for the rest of the season, it’s comforting to know that these guys are pros, and fight tooth and nail to scrape out victories any way possible.

Like I said, it’s a little hard remembering the days when this team only squeaked out Ws by a 3-point margin (…two years ago), but the days of blowing teams out by 50 are long gone, and a dubbayah’s still a dubbayah any way you slice it.

SO THE WORLD SERIES- My roommate is Philly born and raised, his dad is the radio announcer of the Eagles broadcast and he’s as much of a Philly sports nut as we are for Boston. So ever since losing to MENSA jackhole Joe Maddon and his pupils from Tampa Bay in the ALCS, I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the Philadelphia bandwagon in this World Series.

It feels to me like the young Rays squad has already won their personal championship by beating the Red Sox- their pitching is pedestrian compared to their ALCS performance, and their big bats are producing less than Jamie Moyer is from his severe stomach virus (and somehow what they’re producing is smellier and shittier if that’s possible).

So going into tonight’s game 5, the Phills are one victory away from clinching their first major sports victory the town has seen in 25 years, and only their second World Series title in the past 126 years (FKA Philadelphia Quakers).

I’m really happy for Nolan and other Philadelphia fans- that city has so much pent aggression and harbors so much negativity that they could really use a release to lighten the mood in that crappy little state.

If the Phillies hold on and win tonight, I’m probably getting dragged to The Shack in Santa Monica- a poor man’s Sonny McLean’s located directly across the street from it.

The Shack normally plays the role of spill-over bar from Sonny’s surplus crowd celebrating one of their 800 recent championships, but tonight, God willing, Philly gets its well-deserved moment in the sun…and will shut the hell up and be happy for at least a week.

…ROAD GAME IN INDY NEXT WEEK ON MY BIRTHDAY. We’ll have to see if 26 starts out on a pleasant or oh-so-painful note.

As Frank in Gloucester would say, “CIAO”.

I forgot they were doing this.

Then I throw the 3:30pm Sports Tonight on the tivo.

I watch the intro and immediately think, “This is Boston sports entertainment at its finest.”

These guys are broadcasting live from the home base of their parent company, Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut.

I am about to watch a half-hour gambling casino infomercial presented through my favorite local sports show.

That says to me do a running blog entry (Big Happy would appreciate this):

- Felger awkwardly reads off cue cards, a departure from the every-day teleprompter.

- Tanguay ties calling Dickerson “Parrothead” to the Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville parrot. Did he write that? Who wrote that? What a classically tasteful insult.

Tonight Tanguay sells the overpriced chain bar/resturant better than his cardboardish counterpart could. He’s not thrilled, but doing his best television charm to hype energy into the title card.

- Production has them sitting on high chairs (different from highchairs) as they discuss Tom Brady’s shitty potential do-over knee surgery.

Boston is losing the surgeries now as well.

…and in the process created a Boston / LA medicine rivalry.

-they interview the Celtics Team Physician about Brady’s surgery goof. CSN has deals with the Herald, WEEI, Troy Brown and now Mass General.

Brian D. McKeon, MD

- this Celtics doctor seems like an amusingly old New England frat guy to me. And I can’t understand a word this frat guy is saying.

- Rodney’s injury. This is a tough subject for me. Basically because its regarding my favorite Patriot-turned-injured old guy. And this past MNF injury will most likely ending his career. At least Meriweather is filling in and has the potential to be an exciting safety.

-great Gary use of the classic phrase “Necessity is the mother of invention” concerning safety depth. Pats news is pretty damn recycled by Thursday.

- Tanguay awkwardly dribbles “O I R” when he meant to say IR or injured reserved. Those goddamn cue cards messin’ up the KOBB (King of Boston Broadcasting).

- right as they’re about to lose me, cut directly to one of the Mohegan Sun Musical Advertisments.

This campaign is, in my opinion, in the pantheon of classic New England business commercials- Jordan’s Furniture, Bernie & Phyl’s, hundreds of other furniture spots.

This musical production is a spoof of Rick James’s Super Freak. They also do My Sherona “ma ma ma miieee Mo-hegan!!!). These are full-on, maximum-potential New England commercial productions brimming with sassy, hip gambling types dancing choreograph, and having the time of their lives.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Mohegan Musical Trilogy:

AT THE SUN

MA-MA-MA-MIIEE-MO-HEGAN!!!

EVERYONE’S INVITED

Do yourself a favor and never play all three at once.

- the guys interview essentially their big boss Mitchell Etess, President of Mohegan sun to promote the opening of their new wing, “Casino of the Wind” (…what the hell does that mean).

-Tanguay is up to his old self-deprecating tricks, “These guys call me Cheapest Man Alive” because he doesn’t gamble. Don’t know about you, but I find it honorable when people don’t gamble. But he claims to visit the Sun with his wife multiple times per year because the casino offers enough to keep him entertained without having to gamble. You know, grab a round of golf then get a ca-ca-caaah-puccino! Tanguay is like Martin Short - get ‘em in front of a camera and they’re the consumate professional salesman.

- of course Felger is a gambling addict, I wouldn’t be surprised if he and Dickerson and Gresh do secret casino trips together.

- Ironically our guest Etess is a Yankee fan. This feels like a road production- the Prez’s close is a full-on profile shot. He actually seems like a nice guy.

Goddamn it I kinda want to go to Mohegan Sun when I go home in December. I mean, what better way to bail out of a personalized recession. Double or nothin! (or as Nicholas Cage mutters in that Nick Cage way, “Snake Eyes…house wins.”)

- Tanguay is kind of flipping out at this place.

- cut to that New Balance bizarrely sexually-charged, three-character running shoe commercial.

When you tivo a daily cable show from 3,000 miles away, you tend to memorize their 7 New England commercials.

-New England Tailgate. Appropriately sponsored by Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7. (NESN can only land original program backing from Mickey’s hand grenades).

Ordway, DeOssie, and Fred Smerlas do another show together. These three Masshats do everything together.

Fred and Steve on a motorcycle built for two

I really don’t want to know what else those three do during the week together.

- Beckett called his painkilling injections “chemistry”. Why do I find that clever.

- Dickerson sighting. He totally looks like he just came back from 7 straight hours of gambling. You know he slept there overnight for the production.

- a classic Dickerson rant about a sport he doesn’t cover. “Sox losing ALCS Game 7 is a better outcome”. Dickerson blowing peoples minds with self-coined phrases- he’s lobbying for a t-shirt line. Felger is rightfully burying Dickerson’s comments. The producers know there’s crazy tension between these three on camera, and yet they throw them in the cage together like Jerry Springer.

- gotta hand it to Greg when it comes to the C’s. he’s so close with the team that he has good insight. Very bias, filled with Greg mugging, but credible.

- Dickerson: “Is that what this show is reduced to? a bunch of grab-ass?” What a hilariously entertaining chip that guy’s shoulder.

- I wish I were on the East coast to explore Dunkin’ Donut’s secret Celtics season-opener ticket contest called “Find the Truth”. Apparently the Truth is missing. He better not be stabbed again.

We got a 10-57 here at Dunkin’ Donuts, over.

- Dickerson’s new CSN intro- it looks like he’s reading “I’m Greg Dickerson” off a cue card.

-overall broadcast is a bit of a mess, but in an endearing way. promo for “Manny Being Manny on CSN”. First rate clip-show programming. Man Ram’s considering a 2-year, $55 million with LA. Manny talk, the Paris Hilton gossip-rag of sporting news.

AND tonight they’re broadcasting from Mohegan Sun again to pitch Thursday poker night.

- Tanguay comments that Gresh is already eating at Mohegan’s buffet. Felger wants to see Gresh and Dickerson at the poker table- see I knew the Phil Helmuth of Sports Media has the desire to knock the shit out of his co-hosts in a hold’em game.

Uncanny on so many levels.

-guys sign off by thanking Mohegan Sun. “Thanks Dad.”

- my tivo freezes to a halt on the Fisher snowplow kid screaming “Holy Snowplow!!”

Well, that was interesting. I think I should skip the late edition- that might make me throw up then play online poker.

On an unrelated note, this is who I’m going as for halloween…

Also sponsored by Jack Daniels Ol’ No. 7

Congratulations to the Red Sox for fighting through a season of adversity, and for kicking and screaming all the way to an ALCS Game 7.

No Mikey Lowell, injured Beckett, Everyday Mark Kotsay- these guys overcame a lot of odds down the stretch, and were two innings away from another improbable World Series birth.. but those damn Rays held them off just long enough- the story of the entire season.

I felt winning the ALDS over Anaheim was victory enough for this squad, but to go the distance and give themselves a chance was over and beyond, despite being the defending champs. Hats off to the Rays for pushing through to the next level, and hats off to the Boston bums for a very entertaining season. Now hurry up and get surgeries already!!!

Garza’s gem, Longoria, BJ Upton smacking homers out of his asshole, Brainiac Joe Maddon…hate to say it but these guys are young, hungry and deserve the victory.

Time to clean out your Cubby, Kid.

Iwamura- one of many annoyingly great role players to step up for Tampa

End of the road. Last stop. Last Train to Sucksville. Bye Mike.

(How many days until Pitchers and Catchers report?)

…I’M CRINGING TO TURN ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL with the Pats at home taking on Shanahan’s Denver Broncos.

I like when Shanahan plays Belichick.
I squirm when thinking of Matt huh? Cassel.
I erased last week’s loss to San Diego from my brain.
Oh shit I just remembered how shitty this team is.

…then the Pats take on a crippled Broncos team and beat their brains 41-7. WE’LL TAKE IT.

The Broncos Defense takes the D out of Denver.

The Enver Broncos.

Sammy Morris is still running down Route 1A, and when Matty wasn’t busy faceplanting in the grass, he looked formidable completing 3 TD receptions (two to RANDY baby).

Convenient, but still…who let the drunk Viking from Maine in the stadium?

Before the game it was announced that 2006 shit-pick Lawrence Maroney is out for the rest of the season.

I can’t say I’m all that upset over this. Time is running short on Larry’s professional career, and as long as our four other running backs (yes, Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis) are healthy and pounding da rock- honestly, who gives a shit!

The Patriots just won’t let me make a decision about them.

Do I hate them?
Do I root for playoffs or draft picks??
Am I really stuck with Matt Cassel???

BLAH!!!! Continue to win by any means necessary and I’ll continue to squirm.

2008 started with the Super Bowl.

Then Basketball came along, then the Sox, and things were looking up.

Tom Brady was healthy.

Then everyone in and out of New England willed what started as curious questions about a potential Brady injury and subsequent backup issues into an actual Brady injury and real backup issues.

Then the Sporting News decided to put Papi and Pierce (*Brady, who was indeed booked for the 3rd Boston athlete, not pictured) on the cover last week to represent the city of Boston’s sports dominance, and in doing so JINXED OUR REMAINING SPORTS SEASONS.

Listen, I know there’s not really a Sporting News jinx- it clearly ain’t that important of a publication to be considered jinx-worthy.

I am just miffed at the way this year is coming to a close. When you win and win and win and win and win win win and win win for seven years straight, it’s hard to swallow consecutive sports blunders. This past weekend was full of them, and I am one cranky, tired bitch:

Jon Lester is our only remaining hope in that starting rotation. If he goes, the season goes with him. A guaranteed home playoff win turned ugly in Game 3.

Just not gonna happen. This poor guys needs to hibernate during the offseason.

That’s the whitest white flag I’ve ever seen, Tito.

There goes another Boston season. The Pats/SD game went from awkward to painful to perverted to hysterical. Say goodbye to the NFL, Matty Jello-head.

C’mon BB, just sprinkle a little guru-dust all over the place and figure out how to stop losing by 30 points.

…at least there’s one sport that hasn’t gone belly-up just yet (FYI Hockey doesn’t count as a sport).

The Celtics look good so far in preseason. Big Three are barely playing as they shouldn’t, and there’s a surplus of young talent that can make a difference. 2008 sleeper pick Bill Walker is the buzz of the town, windmill-dunking over everyone within four feet. Skywalker was the most popular topic of conversation in the CSN Celtics live chat (well, besides an obsessive gossip about a Scalabrine sighting at the Milford Wendys). Should be interesting to see which of these young guys can break through in 08-09. ALLSTAR STARTING POINT GUARD RAJON RONDO ANYONE??

With a surplus of Celtic talent, poor Gabe Pruitt might be facing another year in the D-leagues.

IN CONCLUSION- The days in which we steamrolled over every team in the universe helped me forget the long period of time where we in fact did the opposite of steamroll every team in the universe. But this short recent period of Boston sucking spurred by Sporting News’s stupid cover (the curse of Bert Breer) is helping me to re-remember those days being the loveable suckalots.

Another nail-biter, another dramatic late-inning victory, another chapter closed in the Red Sox’s book HOW TO PSYCH OUT THE ANAHEIM ANGELS.

After another gem by Lester, Jason Bay beats the tag at home off a Jed Lowrie roller in the bottom of the 9th to clinch the Sox’s 4th ALCS birth in 6 years.

Bay- 2 pivotal homers, .412 ALDS average, and doesn’t punch out team Travel Executives. Canada is loveably peaceful.

This series was a gutty team effort all around- role players stepping up at the perfect moments, sharp defensive plays (Youk killing at 3rd! KOTSAY?!), two superhuman performances by Jon Lester, and Tito entertaining the masses by chomping on four thousand shreds of BIG LEAGUE CHEW (it’s his Nicorette BACK OFF!)

While the Boston victory celebration kicked off in the middle of the diamond, TBS cut to the Anaheim dugout to show the same dismal expression worn by every Angels player. A part of me felt terribly for Vladdy-Daddy- that guy is one of the greatest baseball players of our generation and his front-running Angels keep getting squashed by the Sox seemingly every postseason. Scocia was a little too run-happy, which was evident during the two momentum-swinging plays at pivotal points in two of their losses. The Captain tag-out of Willits at 3rd is an instant classic, but a real head scratcher if your an Angels fan. A one-out squeeze play where Aybar bunts through the pitch for a strike (how the hell does somebody do that?!), and then Tek throws those old’ treetrunks into high gear, and dives to dramatically smack Reggie on the ass one step from safe at 3rd.

Old-Man-Boy

There was a little controversy when Tek lost the ball after colliding with the ground, and the guys on SPORTS TONIGHT dissected the ruling on today’s show. Tanger asks Bradford (a peculiar 80-year-old man stuck in the body of an oversized, awkward teenager) if this play should be likened to that of Railroading a catcher at home, where if the ball pops loose the player is safe, OR if its as like when a CF catches a ball, maintains control (a “football-like move” if you will), then the ball pops out but it’s ruled an out. The guys agree with the call on the field and I have to as well because 1) it’s the right call and 2) I’m a fucking homer.

Just when the Nation is about to give up on ol’ Tek, time after time he comes through with a clutch play. I’ll have a special place in my heart when this guy hangs it up (boohoohooo).

Lester’s ALDS stats: 1-0, 0.00 ERA, .189 OBA, 11 strikeouts, 3 walks. I feel like a bucket of fried chicken for demanding Jon be sent to the bullpen earlier in the year. At least I was against the Minnesota trade, back off!

Immediately after the ALDS Game 4 loss, Manager Mike Scocia and his aggressive running style eloped in Orange County. Seriously though this guy is one of the better Managers in the league, and it’s standup guys like Scocia and Vladdy that make it hard to really hate their club. Plus he has one of those 50-year-old likeable Dad faces. I really want to ask him for the keys to the station wagon for my big date this Friday.

The Tek dive brought the momentum back to Boston, and set up the dramatic 9th where the rookie Jed Lowrie avenged his 9th inning plate blunder the night before by not knocking in the winning run. It was an ugly single to right, but it did the trick and Fenway got another classic celebration. Man, imagine being a 24 year old in Boston and driving in the run that advances your team to the ALCS!! Even with injuries and teammate controversy, this ‘08 club is as gritty and determined so far in these playoffs as in ‘04 or ‘07.

Sound defense, a serviceable batting average, and now the clutch walk-off hit. Lowrie, Ellsbury, Masterson, Pedroia, (Bucholtz)- why does it seem like the Red Sox farm system has been chock-full of LITTLE RASCAL rejects?

Don’t POP your load too early boys- still two more rounds to go! Breaks my heart poor Mikey Lowell isn’t on the ALCS roster, but the man can barely walk, let alone play. BTW, couldn’t you see Mikey as a WWII fighter pilot? In a bomber jacket and scarf givin’ those damn Japs hell! hahaaa
___________________

OK you lazy bums, get over the victory and focus on the task at hand already!!

2008 ALCS: BOSTON RED SOX VS. THE TAMPA BAY (DEVIL) RAYS

Despite the miserable regular season record against the Angels, I could see the Sox taking those guys in a short series. The Rays are a completely different beast.

I’ll give easy credit where easy credit is due. Michael Felger, the season-long president of the Rays bandwagon, is absolutely gloating in his victorious prediction of a Sox/Rays ALCS. When Felgy gets something right, he’ll let you know it over and over and over (and over over over over) again. Gary rightfully put him on the spot during last night’s close to decide which team will make it to the WS, and Felger took the company line to avoid further pissing off the Red Sox faithful.

They’ve been atop the AL East virtually all season, and they looked business-time against the depleted White Sox. Here’s a few reasons why I’m filling out the bottom of my underwear as we speak:

- Carl Crawford is back and producing
- Evan Longoria is Josh Hamilton Jr.
- their pitching staff is complete and dominant
- their young, hungry and full of energy
- they won two late season come-from-behind victories AT FENWAY
- their manager is AL manager of the year and Poet Laureate Joe Maddon

Yes we get it, you’re a genius. Water is good for your brain, and your brain is good when managing a shitty ball club. Word to the wise: Frames don’t make the man! (but they do look pretty cool)

This is gonna be a long series folks- too easy to predict a Game 7. Hopefully Beckett can shake off anything left over from that sad, struggling Game 3 start, and our bats can string together a few more runs to support a WHIP wonder like Dice-K.

Anyway, we’ll have to see how it shakes out. If they do make it past the Rays, I’m quite conflicted as to who I want coming out of the NL. Nolan, my roommate, is the son of the Philadelphia Eagles radio broadcaster, so he bleeds those pessimistic Philly colors like you wouldn’t believe. After living through one Boston championship over Philly (’04 SB), I’d rather not go down that road a second time with the kid. If we don’t make it to the World Series, I’m rooting for Philly all the way, but if we do, I, and the salivating media-mongers would love to witness the Mannybowl and take down those pesky LA Dodgers (or as I call them, the Boston Ex-Sox). Seriously, it would be the sweetest revenge for all of Man-Ram’s diva tactics, especially considering he continues to drag Boston through the mud well after the midseason trade.

Ugh, enough analyzing- cheers to the ‘08 squad!
Brento

It was ugly an start. Cassel throws for two picks early, and the raggedy 49ers are up 14-7 halfway through the FIRST QUARTER. Watching Rodney, Ellis and other secondary scramble like goons as J.T. O’Sullivan throws a leisurely 20-yard TD reception to Frank Gore was one of those season-gauging moments. Not only are we Brady-less, not only is our FG-to-touchdown ratio like 84:1, now the defense is on the verge of getting embarrassed for the second game in a row (AFTER bye week rest) by two very sub-par teams. But those vets keep proving their resilience, and recovered to hold San Fran to one more TD before the game was over. Thank Christmas Randy Moss flagged down that 60-yard toss (not bomb, toss) from Matty C.- it gives Bill & Josh a little more confidence in our “special” QB, and it also gets 81 more involved despite the constant double-coverages. Watching that throw made me want to give the organization a call to see if I could try out for backup.

But hey a win’s a win and at the end of the day, it was a complete team effort (slow start aside).

The Pats are staying in California seeing that they have back-to-back West coast games. They’re in San Diego all week to take on the slumping 2-3 Chargers, who are fresh off an embarrassing loss to Miami (gee, wonder what that’s like!?!?!!) They’re pissed they’re not living up to potential, they naturally hate the Patriots for knocking them out of the playoffs almost every year. Qualcomm is a nice stadium, but the fans are pretty nasty. I remember when we went to the 2006 Pats/Chargers Divisional playoffs. We got there early to tailgate, and were a little tipsy by…oh, 10:30am, but the Charger faithful were more loaded and really pissed. I got physically knocked around in the parking lot, and almost ended up in 2 separate fights before the game started. One guy even tried to rip a 12-pack of beer out of my hands. Aside from almost getting gangbanged, the game was incredibly close- Troy Brown stripped the interception to retain a pivotal N.E. possession, and Gostkowski booted the game winner. Man has that guy been absolutely clutch since replacing Adam V or what?? He should take over the Papa Gino’s promotional from Tedy Bruschi (once he retires in 16 years from now).

Anyway- 3-1 after 4 games. They’ve been ugly, and faced mediocrity at best, but I’ll gladly take it after the 2008 butt-poundings this poor franchise has taken (said butt-poundings need not repeating).

HELLO. After taking the Summer off in every sense of the phrase, I’m back and blogging again.

4th of July in Santa Barbara. The hills 5 miles behind us are engulfed in flames.”Whah, whah is it hot?”

I’m feelin’ it while Nolan scares the shit out of whatshisname at Steph’s housewarming

Random phone pic during a Summer night concert at the Pier

This past Summer was a random, but fun one. David’s fake summer house is no more, but played host to a two-day fiesta sendoff the weekend before the 4th. Random beach days, seafood trips, the two Santa Monica festivals I attend (GLOW and BBQfest) both sucked balls like you wouldn’t believe. Thousands of purposeless drunk people walking into each other. I tagged with Steveo and Bubbas people for the free Thursday-night concerts down at the Pier a handful of times, and those were usually fun. Lots of running, lots of reading, lots of thinking, lots of Taco Bell. 5-mile walks back from random parties because getting taxis in LA are too painful. The occasional Saturday pint at Sonny Mac’s.

If it sounds like I had a chill Summer it’s because I very much did. And who knows how many more of those I have out West, so I decided to do this one right.

SO THE SITE- I’m gonna try to limit my power-blogging to shorter, but more frequent posts that dish on Boston Sports, my favorite and most inclusive New England sports show SPORTS TONIGHT, and random blurbs about dealing with LA from a seasoned vet with an East coast attitude. Things will be shorter and quicker RIIGHT after my reintroduction post…

Alright, lets get something straight. Everyone grows up on NESN, it’s where you catch the Sox game, and the coverage is miles better than the network affiliates. But Comcast Sports New England slowly creeps up on them and out of nowhere it’s the new MTV to NESN’s Vh1. Bob Ryan, Cafardo, and the rest of the Globe bums- those guys rock me to sleep at night. Just look at the personalities that frequent SPORTS TONIGHT. Besides Gary Tanguay, Felger, DICKerson- there’s Joe Haggerty, Don Banks, Tom E. Curran, Bradford, Sean McAdams, Burt Breer, the WEEI clowns, and just this week they signed recently-retired Patriots all-time wide receiver Troy Brown to the squad. These guys are funny, biting, and extremely informed. ST has great guests, exclusive player insight, and really has found a rhythm that’s catapulted the show to the top of a very competitive sports media market.

Gary Tanguay is the man who makes this show work. He is the anchor, tying it all together with poignancy, timing and other sharp broadcasting skills. When Felger’s hatin’, and Dickerson’s humpin’ legs, Tanguay is the balanced Boston sports fan-of-reason. I like to think of Gary as New England’s casual, insightful and hilarious version of Bob Costas (Boston Costas!!)

Michael Felger or Felgy, is the epitome of Boston sports critic. A Milwaukee guy, he attended my alma mater Boston University, and has been covering the local 4 (oh god I think that’s a Katheryn Tappin thing) over the last 20 yrs. Felgy is one of those smart guys you love to hate, and he gives you plenty of reasons to do so. Figuratively the Phil Helmuth of sports media. But hey- I can’t help but loving the guy- cynics unite. Plus, he and Tanger play a mean good cop/bad cop, and the tension between Felger and Dickerson on set is entertainment at its finest.

What do I say about Dickerson. He’s Boston born-and-raised, and 100% bleeds New England. Greg grew up in Milford (one town over from me), and somehow weaseled his way into the Boston sports scene. Big Daddy loves Dickerson because he can relate to him- overly-passionate and optimistic, will argue for the sake of defense. Greg used to host SPORTS TONIGHT with Tanguay a few years back, but got replaced by Felger and has a real chip on his shoulder per his reassigned role with the station. He’s still featured quite a bit, and is Comcast’s Celtics beat guy- we were so friggin jealous that a schlub like Dickerson is hugging by Garnett’s side as KG empties out two budlights over Greg’s head during the Championship celebration. He needs to wipe some of that smug little-guy attitude from his shiny broad face.

Zolak is “acceptable”, the weekly spot with Vrabel provides an insider’s perspective (and Vrabel is fucking FUNNY), but the signing of Troy Brown on the heels of retiring from his illustrious career really separates this show from the rest. We’re finding out nuggets of Patriots’ insider info that was otherwise locked behind closed doors. BINGO! I GOT BINGO!!

Haggerty is a good compliment to the show, and has the charming ability to sneak good digs in on Felger. Bradford, formerly Herald now WEEI.com, is the lovechild of Frankenstein and Dracula (Scott Frankula? sounds like an NBC pilot). Baby-faced Bert Breer of the Sporting News is a little soft-spoken and camera shy, but he’s got an incredibly perceptive eye for football. His photo is actually the one that comes with a 3 1/2 x 5-inch picture frame.

Look at these clowns. Gresh has surprisingly good camera presence, and makes a better anchor than Dickerson ever did. Zolak has somehow been around a while and for that reason feels self-entitled. Zo kinda gives me the one-eyed Willies (…anyone??!!)

McAdams just made the jump from the ProJo to the Herald (movin’ on up…to the East side!) Sean comes off as a know-it-all professor type, but backs it up with rational opinion, and isn’t an obvious homer or hater like some of those Globe lunatics.

C’S REGULAR SEASON = OCTOBER 28TH HOME OPENER AGAINST THE CAVS (WHAT!!!!)

These guys, their absurd amount of knowledge, Ordway-sized egos, constant bickering and bantering combine to make quality sports entertainment. Imagine if THE VIEW was the exact opposite in every possible way.

A week ago, if you told me the Sox would be up 2-0 in the ALDS vs. the Anaheim Angels, the major’s best regular season team, going BACK to Fenway with a rested Josh Beckett pitching the potential series-clinching game 3- I’d call you a fat, obnoxious and ugly (so-very-ugly) liar. But enterting Sunday’s game, the Sox are indeed in a favorable position to make it to the ALCS. Manny’s mid-season replacement Jason Bay has been lights out, with two homers in his first two postseason games, and last night’s hero was the ever-back-ailing J.D. Drew when he smacked a two-run homer off K-Rod in the top of the 9th. Both games were extremely competitive- Jon Lester was absolutely locked in, and is truly blossoming into a big-game pitcher, while Dice-K made another classic Dice-K start (deceiving stat-line, barely gets through 5 innings). Everyone has contributed in both wins- a great-looking team effort to start the posteason, yahoozin’!!

This good-luck Canuck has gone swing-for-swing with Manny ever since the big midseason trade. Talk about your all-time win-wins, that is unless the Sox and Dodgers are on an ugly collision course, of which I’d have to attend at disgusting Dodgers Stadium.

Barring a healthy oblique, the planets are aligned for Beckett to complete the sweep over the Angels- shaping up to be the Sox’s 3rd time doing so in the last three postseason matchups!

Vrabel has a weekly interview on SPORTS TONIGHT similar to Papelbon’s weekly goofball spot. Felger does his best to grill Vrabes with hard-hitting questions, but Vrabel is far too intelligent and amusingly quick to play dumb jock. This week Mike & Mike discussed the weekend’s matchup against the 49ers, which could better forecast exactly what type of season this Brady-less Patriots team is in for. Vrabel also discussed his foundation’s new children’s book called THE HOG MOLLIES & THE PICKLE-PIE PARTY. Apparently the book teaches kids teamwork via the process of pickling cucumbers. When Felger asked what the Pats’ locker room was like after a devastating loss, Vrabel quickly replied that after losing there’s certainly no cause to have a Pickle-pie party. Vrabel also touched on his skermish with QB Matt Cassel, laughing off the young kid’s haughty “spirit”.

Troy Brown’s been pretty sharp and camera-savvy in his first week with the station, and he added his two cents to the Vrabel/Cassel scuffle by recalling one involving himself and SS Rodney Harrison where Rodney deliberately poked TB in the eye during practice. Vrabes, Rodney- dirty, dirty, funny, but dirty fellas. God I’m glad their on our team (that is, unless they keep tanking like the Miami game!!!)

LACEM UP KAGE!

The Celtics started their preseason training this week at a complex in Newport, RI. Comcast is THE hub for everything Celtics, from Rome to Ring, and they’re already back at it by shipping wee willy Dickerson down South to live at the facility all month. Seriously, Greg is living inside the court, he uses that yellow blocking bag next to KG as a pillow. So far it seems like a verrry relaxed environment. Players are out of shape and sport a little championship hang-over, but Doc has liked what he sees so much so that he’s already called off two scheduled afternoon practices. He’s also treating the entire team to Dairy Queen blizzards three times a day, no matter what happens in practice (as long as they sort of try).

Dickerson wanted Ray Allen to toss him a pass, so Ray gave him the “go” route and let lil’ Greg run until he exited the premises.

On Friday, Slick interviewed Tony Allen (who, if you think about it, plays a role on the C’s similar to Dickerson with CSN), and asked him about the knee and replacing James Posey’s presence in the lineup. “T.A.” is the ridiculous character that sustained an career-threatening injury on a gaudy slam-dunk after a play was whistled dead, but he tells Dickerson that quote I feel better than Posey endquote. The interview was hysterical because neither Tony nor Greg looked at each other once during the Q&A. I don’t know what crack Tony Allen is smoking when comparing himself to Pose, but it would be nice if one of those four revolving guards filled the void.

The basketball equivalent of a baby car seat.

Anyway I am back- blabbing away as always, and looking to dish on the sports and personalities that haunt me every weekday. If you’re not into this kinda stuff, SHOVE OFF!

I’ll post quick hits after the Pats/49ers and Sox/Angels Game 3. Talk about your Sports Sunday!

Till then- thx!
Brento