Well…that was an assbeating. Pittsburgh’s oppressive D mixed with a healthy dose of icy rain made for one long afternoon at Gillette. After a tied first half, Pittsburgh came out guns blazing in the 3rd Quarter and capitalized on 4 costly turnovers, scoring 23 unanswered points to win 33-10. I mean, looking at the schedule earlier in the season, I personally chalked this one up as a loss, but going into today’s game I thought they had a bit of a chance. And they did, moving the ball with some ease in the first half, but slippery drops in the end zone by Randy, and Matty airmailing two picks and fumbling twice screwed the pooch. The Pats D put up a fight in the first, but ended up running on empty due to Pittsburgh’s favorable field position off turnovers.

The play that turned the game around was the Matt Slater kickoff fumble early in the 3rd that gave Big Ben and the Steelers offense incredible field position to pound it in for a quick 7. It was a 3-point game before Slater’s fumble, but that was the straw that broke the camel’s dick. Luckily the Jets lost embarrassingly to the Broncos, and are still just one game ahead of New England and Miami for the AFC East lead. With Indy and Baltimore in good position for wild card births, right now it looks like the only way into the postseason is through the division title. At 7-5, we’re most likely gonna have to win out to take the division (then again, this year is so damn backwards that 10-6 might get those bums in). Even if they lost in the first round, a playoff birth would validate this Brady-less, injury prone grind of a season.

Polamalu had a sweet interception on Cassel in the 2nd half. Matty C and Troy were roommates back in their USC days- they used to play “You braid my hair, I pick you off” allll the time.

Roethlisberger had an OK game: 17 for 33, 179, 2 TDs and 1 interception. I can’t help but be annoyed by this big dumb oaf, and his overly-religious motorcycle-skidding, big-cheese-loving fathead. “Fathead, it’s like, THIS HUGE!”

FUNNIEST FOOTBALL MOMENT OF THE WEEK:

Hands-down funniest clip of the week is the Sports Tonight interview with Mike Vrabel and Dickerson where Vrabes picks on Greg for getting a Celtics championship ring for doing nothing, stating that Felger and Ron Borges didn’t get anything from the three Super Bowls besides a slap on the ass. Slick backpeddles, doing his best to defend his $15,000 gift from the franchise. At one point Greg jokingly asks Mike to decipher the difference in reporting between Felger, Borges and himself, to which the quick-witted Vrabel cuttingly replies, “Well…I’d say you’re a ballwasher” HAHAHAAAA

MOST AWKWARD FOOTBALL MOMENT OF THE WEEK:

Dan Dierdorf was color for the Pats game on CBS, and when Pittsburgh really started piling up the points in the 3rd, he said something along the lines of, “Wow, the Steelers are exploding all over the Patriots!” I don’t know about you, but right after that me and my friends quickly exchanged looks of confusion and disgust. Thank you Mister color analyst for the colorful imagery. When Troy picked off Matty I really was expecting Dierdoof to scream “My god, Polamalu just exploded all over Matt Cassel’s face!!”

Speaking of oafs and explosions, we had our annual Turkey Bowl on Thanksgiving, and my team LOST goddamn it! Steveo picked first and got Griff and Seth, so he had mad options at Q which freed him up to run the same damn cross that burned our team every single time. There was only one defensive stop in the game, and that was the difference. This is my first Thanksgiving loss, so leave me alone I’m still recovering. This pic was taken right after the game, look at how happy I am.

This was taken after our ridiculously delicious Thanksgiving meal (note my pleasantly swollen stomach). Our group celebrates this holiday to the max each year, and this one was especially big as it’s the last in LA for my friends Ken and Lisa, who are moving back to Boston this week. Who am I gonna drag to Souplantation when Big Daddy isn’t around, Ken?! WHAAAAA!!

The Celtics are rolling right along and plowing through teams. They embarrassed the pants off the Sixers on Friday, and despite a sloppy 3 1/2 quarters against Larry Brown’s Bobcats on Sunday, Pierce turned it on in the last 4 minutes to close the door, securing their 8th win in a row and improving to 16-2 on the season. Since they’re normally jumping up on teams early, the bench spells huge minutes for the starters in hopes of preventing a possible burnout situation as the season progresses. Scalabrine is getting more minutes than he ever has, and gives the home crowd a huge spark in junk time whenever Big Red checks in. Bri even has his own ridiculous cheering section called Scals Pals, comprised of a bunch of shirtless college kids in hilarious red wigs. Scalabrine represents out-of-shape, slow and dated white basketball of yesteryear- totally Boston’s Big White Dope!

Speaking of 16 wins, the Bruins are the hottest team in hockey, improving their Atlantic division lead with a 4-1 win over the defending champion Red Wings. The Bs close out the month of November with an impressive 11-1-1 record. Marc Savard is a points machine, and Phil Kessel is really growing into that offensive role left vacant since the departure of Joe Thornton. Some are even saying this could be the most exciting Bruins squad fielded since the early 90s Bourque/Neely teams. It’s a long season, and ya never know what happens once the postseason hits, but I am loving the surprise goodness from professional hockey in Massachusetts! I think there’s an unwritten rule where at least 2 out of the 4 major Boston sports franchises must be awesome at the same time.

SO the door isn’t shut on the Pats just yet, but they’re gonna have to essentially run the table over the last 4 games for a fighting chance at a playoff spot. At Seattle, at Oakland, home vs. Arizona, then wrapping up in Buffalo- four winnable games, there’s just not much room for error. Take a page out of Perk’s school of Beast Technique and REBOUND!!!

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