GARNETT: KNEE STRAIN - OUT

SCALABRINE: LOSS OF APPETITE - OUT

PEDROIA: WBC-ITUS - OUT

YOUKILIS: HYPER-EXTENDED MIDDLE FINGER - OUT

STEPHON MARBURY: TEMPORARY LOSS OF BASKETBALL ABILITY - SUCKS

JULIO LUGO: SWOLEN VAGINA - OUT

RAY ALLEN: SNAKEBITE TO THE FACE - OUT

LEON POWE: OMINOUS TORNADO BEATING - OUT

TONY ALLEN: THUMBS EXPLODED WITH HINDENBERG - OUT

TOM BRADY: TORN ARM SOCKET IN FORTHCOMING MONKEY ATTACK ON BOSTON

DEAR BOSTON SPORTS,
GET WELL SOON.

Love,
Brent

Well, I don’t think anyone saw this coming. It seems like an act of desperation out of Buffalo, a city whose concentrated base fans are probably feeling this recession just as hard as anyone else. The cold reality of upstate New York sets in- Jim Kelly ain’t walking through that door, Thurman Thomas ain’t walking through that door and Robert Parish sure as shit ain’t walking through that door. Signing T.O. will definitely make things interesting when the Pats play the Bills twice a year, but ultimately is this a gamechanger for the suffering AFC East franchise? The prospect of a healthy Trent Edwards having multiple deep options in Lee Evans and now Owens is threatening, especially if they’re able to spread the field for Marshawn Lynch to fill out little Dicky Jauron’s offensive scheme. But T.O.s track record is just too ludicrous for the common fan to be duped into thinking anything other than clubhouse cancer, therefore let the Bills sell a few more jerseys- Ralph Wilson needs a new pair of shoes (…literally).

I will miss Vrabel. He was one of the coolest, smarmiest linebackers to ever grace Patriots football. I remember the time he covered his face and bitched out Felger during a interview because Mike was coughing in the locker room two days before a game. That guy fit in perfectly for eight prime years, and kicked lunchpail ass every Sunday. Losing veterans sucks.

I just wrapped a web pilot- it was a lot of work but fun as hell!